3.

and what about that funky theory that once said --- that girls who think sex is dirty wash their private parts first before any other part of their body?

2.

as a gawky teenager, did you ever have encounter elbows of deadly accurate aim that found their way onto two imaginary bullseye rings on your budding breasts?

1.

as a kid, why did i often feel compelled to use my fingernails to dent a cross right on top of a mosquito bite thinking that doing so would cause a slow death to the friggin' parasite?